Some of the most exhausting days in my life look, from the outside, like I “did nothing.”

I stayed home.
I scrolled a little.
I thought about things.
I imagined different futures.
I opened the project, then closed it.

By the end of these days I feel drained and disappointed, and the story that shows up is always the same:

“I’m stuck. I can't seem to take action on anything.”

But if you watch closely, those days aren’t empty. They're actually packed with action. It’s just that almost all of the action is happening in my head, and none of it is pointed toward what I really want.

Today we’re talking about why you get stuck as a Five, and how to start shifting into momentum.

(And make sure you read to the end for a special announcement.)

Thinking isn’t “nothing”

As Fives, we tend to treat thinking and doing as two separate things, like thinking doesn't count.

If an action doesn’t produce an obvious external result, we file it under “nothing happened.”

But your system doesn’t see it that way.

Every loop, every simulation, every self-argument uses energy and shapes what you’ll do next.

Things we usually label as “doing nothing” are actually actions:

• Numbing is action.
• Avoidance is action.
• Rumination is action.
• Self-criticism is action.
• Replaying the past is action.
• Researching instead of engaging is action.

These are choices. They're moves. And they have consequences.

They change how confident you feel.
They change how much feedback you get from the world.
They change how likely you are to reach out, show up, or try again.

So when you say you're stuck and can't seem to take action, that isn’t quite true. You do a lot. It just doesn't take you in the direction you want to go.

Relief habits vs momentum habits

Here’s the pattern I see in myself and in other Fives.

You feel a spark of wanting something:

• To try a new thing
• To move your body
• To send a message
• To make progress on a project

But, that wanting creates exposure.

And your mind instantly starts calculating risk:

What if I fail?
What if I don't do it right?
What if this requires too much of me?

That spike of danger is the moment that matters. Your system quietly asks, “What will make this feeling stop right now?”

And relief habits are the things that answer that question:

• Watching one more video “to be sure”
• Sliding into old fantasies or daydreams
• Tweaking the plan instead of running the plan
• Opening another tab “just to check something”
• Doing small busywork that feels productive but doesn’t move the needle on anything important

They work. Relief comes and it lowers the pressure. Your nervous system calms down.

But relief doesn’t build anything.

It just protects you from the cost of building.

Momentum habits, on the other hand, feel different:

• Doing one set of an exercise
• Sending one honest message
• Saying, “I’m going to try this” out loud to someone
• Opening the document and writing for five minutes

They’re concrete. They leave a trace. And they almost always feel more awkward than satisfying at the beginning.

So in the micro-moment, relief wins.

Not because you’re lazy or unmotivated.

But because your system is doing its job: steering you away from perceived danger as fast as possible.

The loop that makes you feel broken

If you zoom out, the loop looks like this:

1. You want something real.
2. Wanting triggers exposure and fear.
3. Your mind reaches for relief actions to calm the fear.
4. Those actions give you short-term comfort but no progress.
5. The gap between what you want and what exists gets bigger.
6. You look at the gap and decide, “I’m stuck. I can’t do it.”
7. That belief hurts, so you reach for more relief.

From inside the loop, it feels like inaction. Like failure. Like proof that you lack whatever other people have.

From the outside, it’s not inaction at all... it’s a highly efficient retreat strategy.

You are acting constantly, just in a direction that keeps you safe and small. That’s the nuance most advice misses. You don’t need to generate motivation out of nowhere.

You actually already have a ton of momentum.

It’s just flowing into thoughts and behaviors that protect you from risk instead of into the projects, relationships, and changes you care about.

Why this matters

If you believe “I’m stuck because I don’t act,” the only solution you can imagine is to become some kind of productivity machine.

More systems. More hacks. More intensity.

And when that doesn’t work, it feels like confirmation that something is wrong with you.

But, if you see that you’re already acting all the time, the problem changes shape.

It’s not that you’re inactive. It’s that your default actions are invisible and inward, so they never get counted. And they’re aimed at relief instead of at the life you actually want.

That’s a design problem, not a character flaw.

And here's the best part: design problems can be changed.

This week’s experiment

Let’s make this concrete. This week we're going to trade one relief habit for one momentum habit.

Step 1: Pick one area where you feel stuck.

Make it specific:

• “Working on my writing”
• “Reaching out to one friend”
• “Moving my body 3 times a week”
• “Making progress on that course I keep avoiding”

Write it in one sentence.

Step 2: Name your top two relief actions in that area.

Ask: “When I plan to work on this and then don’t, what do I actually do instead?”

Examples:

• “I start reorganizing my notes.”
• “I check email and then check it again.”
• “I open YouTube and binge-watch conspiracy videos.” (or is this just me?)

Write those down. You’re mapping your real behavior, not judging it.

Step 3: Define one tiny momentum action.

Think absurdly small:

• Send one text.
• Write for 5 minutes.
• Do one set of an exercise.
• Add two sentences to the document.

If it feels “too small to matter,” you’re probably in the right range.

Step 4: Run the swap once per day.

For the next week:

1. Notice when you start a relief action.
2. Pause for ten seconds.
3. Ask, “Is this taking me toward relief or toward what I want?”
4. Once per day, interrupt the relief habit and do your tiny momentum action instead.

Not every time. Just once a day.

Step 5: Track your data like a scientist.

At the end of each day, write a single line:

• “Today I chose relief.”
• Or, “Today I chose momentum for 5 minutes.”

No moral grade. Just data.

After a week, you’ll have evidence of something most Fives never see:

You were always capable of momentum. It was just pointed toward relief.

And if you can redirect even a small slice of that energy, the story you tell yourself about being “stuck” starts to shift.

You don’t have to become a different person. You just have to start counting the actions you already take, and aim a few of them somewhere new.

PS. If this resonated with you and you'd like to go deeper, I'm launching a new course in January called Momentum Lab.

It's a 10-day experiment that will guide you through the process of building momentum toward something you really care about.

If you'd like to be the first to get more details (and a deep discount), you can sign up for the waitlist here.