Last week, I did something I really didn’t want to do: I signed up to play adult kickball.

And as the game got closer, my brain tried everything it could to talk me out of going.

Not because I was tired. Not because I didn’t have time. But because of a very specific kind of internal resistance (one that Fives know well).

This week, we’re talking about what happens when you show up—even when every part of you wants to stay home—and how that choice can quietly reshape your confidence, your relationships, and your sense of self.

A thousand invisible calculations

Here’s the thing: I didn’t want to go.

Not because I’m lazy, but because of that subtle yet powerful cocktail of Five fears:

• Fear of energy depletion
• Fear of being seen and vulnerable
• Fear of awkward social dynamics or rejection
• Fear of physical harm or not having control over my body

That moment before saying “yes” to kickball felt like an invisible war inside my head. A thousand calculations. A million what-ifs. Every one of them told me to stay home.

And then came the highlight reel of risk:

• “What if I look stupid? (Who doesn’t know how to play kickball?)”
• “What if I injure something and become immobile for weeks?”
• “What if I say something dumb and they think I’m weird?”

It sounds dramatic when I write it out, but in the moment it felt completely rational.

That’s the trap.

Why showing up is harder than it looks (for us)

As Fives, we don’t just dislike risk—we analyze it to death.

Our brains are wired to protect us from potential failure, embarrassment, and emotional chaos. So instead of participating, we observe. We plan. We retreat into the safety of preparation.

But I’ve learned something important:

No amount of Googling “how to not suck at kickball” can replicate the real, messy, unpredictable, alive experience of actually showing up.

So, I went. Not because I felt brave or ready. I went as a practice.

A practice in rebalancing the equation: choosing engagement over retreat, embodiment over observation.

The moment that shifted everything

And you know what? I’m really glad I went.

It wasn’t even a big thing that made it worth going.

Maybe it was the kick that finally got me to first base.
Maybe it was the team bonding over getting completely annihilated.
Maybe it was the post-game conversation where I actually felt… included.

But something shifted.

My nervous system got new data: engagement can be safe, even fun.

It didn’t erase the fear, but it updated the file.

What you can’t think your way into

We Fives love knowledge. We trust our minds.

But, some things can’t be learned from the sidelines. Real confidence doesn’t come from more preparation. It comes from more participation.

Every time we override the urge to retreat, we build trust in ourselves—not just socially or physically, but internally.

We stop waiting to feel ready and start learning that we’re more capable than we thought.

That’s the power of showing up.

Your turn

What’s one thing you’ve been avoiding, not because you’re lazy, but because it feels risky?

What would it look like to show up anyway, just as a practice?

Not to prove anything. Not to win. Just to remind your nervous system that presence is possible.

Try it.

And then, if you’re up for it, tell us about it in the community so we can celebrate with you.