I used to think joy was a reward.

Something that came after the work was done. After I’d figured everything out. After I’d earned the right to rest.

But the more I started paying attention, the more I realized: I wasn’t just deprioritizing joy—I was avoiding it.

Not because I didn’t want to feel good.

Because joy felt… inefficient.

When your default mode is problem-solving, joy can seem like a distraction. A luxury. Something to be optimized for later, once everything else is handled.

But, what if joy isn’t a detour?

What if it’s the fuel?

Today we’re talking about how to stop treating joy like an afterthought and start welcoming it in, even when it feels unproductive.

Why joy feels risky for Fives

If you find yourself pushing joy to the bottom of the list, you’re not alone.

As Fives, we often approach life with a “conserve and protect” strategy. We don’t just want to feel prepared. We want to feel safe.

And joy? Joy asks us to soften.

To stop bracing.

To step out of observer mode and actually be in the moment without analyzing it.

That’s vulnerable. It means letting your guard down long enough to experience something fully and trusting that it won’t cost you more than you can afford.

Here’s why that’s hard:

• Joy feels unpredictable. You can’t schedule it. You can’t guarantee it will last. And that makes it feel risky.
• It requires presence. You have to step out of your head and into your body to feel joy, and that can be unfamiliar territory.
• It uses energy. Even positive emotions require something from us. When you’re already running on empty, it can feel safer to numb out than to lean in.

But avoiding joy doesn’t preserve your energy. It drains it.

You don’t recharge by withholding pleasure. You recharge by letting it in.

Joy is not the opposite of productivity

This might sound strange, but joy is actually one of the most productive emotional states you can cultivate.

Here’s why:

• It increases resilience. Research in positive psychology shows that positive emotions like joy widen your perspective, improve problem-solving, and build emotional reserves that help you bounce back from stress faster.
• It boosts motivation. You’re more likely to take action when you’re feeling good than when you’re stuck in self-protection mode.
• It reconnects you with what matters. Joy helps you remember why you started in the first place. It clears the fog and realigns you with your values.

You don’t have to choose between being thoughtful and being joyful.

You can be a deep thinker and still laugh out loud at something ridiculous. You can be introspective and dance around the kitchen like a weirdo. You can be fully Five and still make room for delight.

But, you have to practice...

Three small ways to welcome joy this week

You don’t need to engineer joy or earn it. You just need to make space for it. Here are three simple ways to start:

1. Create a “joy cache.” Make a short list of things that consistently bring you joy, no matter how small. A specific song. A weird animal video. That one meme that makes you smirk every time. Keep it somewhere visible. Next time your energy dips, pick something from the list and actually engage with it.

2. Set a 5-minute joy timer. Pick a time in your day to pause for five minutes and do something that feels good for no reason. Step outside. Play a favorite song. Pet your dog. The goal isn’t to optimize the moment. It’s to feel it.

3. Practice preemptive permission. Before you do something enjoyable, whisper to yourself: “This isn’t a waste of time. This is how I refill the tank.” Sometimes our nervous systems just need to hear it out loud.

You don’t need a reason to feel good

Joy doesn’t have to be earned.

It doesn’t have to be justified. It doesn’t mean you’re being careless or naive or inefficient. It means you’re alive.

And that’s reason enough.

This week, give yourself permission to feel something good without turning it into a project, even just for a moment.

You might be surprised how much energy it unlocks.