Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to step into the world with confidence, not second-guessing yourself, but energized, engaged, and fully present?
Yesterday, we had our very first Accelerator call, and it taught me something incredible about what happens when a group of Fives show up for each other.
We open up, big time.
And even better: it energizes us and boosts our confidence to open up in other parts of our lives.
Why? Because in a world where we always feel like an outsider, we’ve built a place where people just get us, no explanation needed. That creates a safe space to practice being ourselves without worrying about the consequences.
And all that energy we’d normally spend on anxiety and overanalyzing can be put toward what really matters: connection.
Think about it… even the best musicians don’t step straight onto stage.
They spend hours in the garage, rehearsing where mistakes don’t matter.
As Fives, we need that same kind of space: a low-stakes rehearsal room for connection. A place where we can practice saying the real thing, not the “right” thing, before we go out into the world.
Most importantly, a place where we aren't running endless scenarios in our heads until we burn out.
Today we’re talking about why these low-stakes spaces matter, what it actually feels like to be in one, and how you can create your own version of it in everyday life.
Why this matters for us
Our instinct as Fives is to stay in our heads, polishing every thought before we dare let it out.
We want to make sure it’s precise, airtight, unimpeachable. The problem? Life doesn’t give us endless time to edit.
So when every conversation feels high-stakes, we freeze.
We say nothing.
Or our minds go blank.
Or we spend hours replaying what we should’ve said.
Or or or…
That’s why a low-stakes environment is so powerful. It gives us space to experiment, stumble, and still feel safe.
Unfortunately, most Fives don’t figure this out until it’s too late…
Why we don’t create these spaces for ourselves
It sounds so obvious: if rehearsal spaces help us grow, why don’t we build them for ourselves?
The truth is, most of us never even consider it. And when we do, our habits and fears get in the way. For example:
- We think preparation is enough. We believe if we read, study, and analyze enough, we won’t need to practice.
- Fear of looking foolish. The idea of making mistakes in front of others feels unbearable, so we avoid the risk altogether.
- We crave safety over growth. Creating a low-stakes space still requires vulnerability, and that feels dangerous. It’s easier to hide.
- We convince ourselves we don’t need it. We tell ourselves we’ll rise to the occasion when it counts, but without practice our confidence never gets built.
- We don’t know where to start. The idea of creating a rehearsal space feels abstract and overwhelming, so we never take the first step toward building one.
The result is that we miss out on rehearsal entirely, and only learn the cost when we’re already isolated or stuck.
But what happens when we finally do find that safe space? That’s where the real magic happens.
What it feels like in practice
When we finally did create that kind of space together on our first Accelerator call, the difference was immediate and tangible.
People described what it was actually like to be in a room where the pressure was off:
- “I felt understood without having to… overexplain. I just felt understood.”
- “I don’t have to do all this positioning… It was just like, okay, they just get it.”
- “I felt less anxiety… it just seemed like everyone resonated with what was being said.”
- “Being in a group of Fives for the first time, I was surprised how much everything each of us said resonated with all of us.”
- “Usually when I try to talk, my mind goes completely blank. But this time I felt more even flow and it was more natural.”
That’s the power of rehearsal. When the stakes are low, our guard drops, and we find that the thing we were so afraid of isn’t as dangerous as we thought. That’s where confidence begins.
And the good news? You can start building that for yourself, today. Here’s how to get started:
How to build your own rehearsal space
Sure, you could join the Accelerator (we’d love to have you!), but you don’t need a formal group to start practicing this.
Here are a few simple ways to create low-stakes reps in your own life:
- Voice notes for yourself. Record a 2-minute ramble about your day. Don’t play it back. Don’t edit. Just practice saying the messy version out loud.
- One honest sentence. Next time someone asks “How are you?” replace “I’m fine” with one true sentence. Nothing huge, just one step past your usual filter.
- Find a safe person. Identify one friend who “gets you.” Ask if you can practice sharing more openly with them, not to get advice but simply to say things out loud.
- Set up structured prompts. Try a recurring check-in with a partner or small group: “What’s one way I got stuck in my head this week?” When the frame is predictable, it feels safer to experiment.
The payoff
Confidence doesn’t come from over-preparing. It comes from practice.
Every time you rehearse in a safe space, you’re building the muscle to show up in the harder ones. You’re proving to yourself that you can speak, stumble, recover, and still be okay.
So, treat your practice like a garage band.
At first it will sound rough, but over time the roughness is exactly what makes the real performance possible.